*The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths.* Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.
Some people think that lawyers have no soul because they appear emotionless, without empathy, as though a person’s loss or impending doom is irrelevant. The really good ones train themselves to focus entirely on the legal points in any given case, burying their true selves behind a wall of written law in their offices and the court room, to emerge as loving Dad or Sweetheart only at home.
Charles Parselle is an exemplary lawyer. The epitome of a gentleman, he’s well dressed in an upscale L.A. with a hint of Saville Row kind of way, polite, attentive, and a charming conversationalist. With a dab of self-effacing humor, he can make you feel comfortable enough to share confidences. Perhaps it’s his soft-spoken manner and upper crust English accent, but you find yourself wondering what the heck he’s doing in Los Angeles amongst a multitude of loud-mouthed legal sharks.
No shrinking violet, Parselle has volunteered for a one night stand as a comic at the famous Comedy Store and gamely hosted a couple of Piers Morgan – type talk shows that failed to get off the ground. From his legal background, Parselle appears to have developed attributes that Morgan lacks; he listens and understands, his comments are unbiased and lacking any personal agenda, and he does not talk down to his guests.
Educated at the prestigious Oxford University in England, Charles Parselle, Esq., has credentials spanning the globe with decades of successful cases. He’s been a Barrister-at-law in England, Judge pro tem in the Los Angeles Superior Court, a practicing attorney in California since 1983 and has been a member of Bar Associations from Italy to Beverly Hills.
Since the year 2000, he has been the Mediator of various local and international disputes with millions of dollars at stake, lectured on mediation at the Institute for Conflict Management in Santa Monica, CA and authored a book titled, The Complete Mediator. Married to the lovely and feisty activist, Charlotte Law, who has recently been leading the crusade to outlaw revenge pornography, Charles is now in his 70s and looking forward to retirement.
He says, “Quite simply, Mediation is the settlement of disputes.”
And Parselle writes, “Why does conflict persist? This is like asking: where does love go? It touches the human condition near the core, a place where great thinkers give gloomy answers…Personal and historical experience tells us the conflict does indeed persist…Questioning our persistent tendency to beat up on each other, two qualities stand out as integral – entanglement and identity. We live entangled lives yet we strive for personal identity. Our entanglements threaten our sense of ourselves. Conflicts are about entanglements gone wrong. “
In an article titled, Negotiation and Death, Parselle compares the five stages of grief made famous by psychiatrist Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her book, On Death and Dying, to the process people go through during mediation.
Dr. Kubler-Ross changed the way many think about death. Her theory that grieving has five stages was born out of her work with terminally ill patients.
Parselle writes, “A successful mediation is both death and rebirth, as the mediator facilitates the disputants through the stages of denial, anger, bargaining and depression to acceptance. Acceptance means closure; usually it’s a good feeling.
“Life prepares us for death in many ways; entanglement in conflict is one such way. Kubler-Ross shows us the sequence that accompanies the knowledge of imminent death – a dying person needs help at such a time. Every negotiation is a petit mort (small death); a chance also for growth – disputants need help at such a time. This is what mediators do.”
While he says that wife Charlotte does not want to leave her work, her dogs and yes, her chickens, Charles intends to travel to London England and Budapest this summer. If you want Charles Parselle to mediate your dispute, he may or may not accommodate you. In any event, he can and will refer you to a mediator whom he considers worthy of you. Read more about mediation on the Parselle Mediation web site:
This article was previously published in:The Epoch Times International.